“Everybody Wants to Be Sexy.” – Brad Goreski
Listen up guys and girls – Yessss…you too guys…guys want to be sexy too!!! Letâs talk about feeling sexy, and let’s talk about why that’s important.
Itâs clear that âsexyâ is something we should all want to be, but have we ever stopped to wonder why we should want to be sexy â or even what sexy is? I donât know about you, but when someone describes me as sexy, I definitely take it as a compliment. How do you know if you’re sexy and if your not, can it be learned and practiced? And feeling sexy isn’t necessarily about sex.
Being told that you are sexy makes you feel sexier on the inside â confident, smarter and funnier. Which in turn spills over into the bedroom. EXTRA bonus. It’s about feeling confident. It says your delicious, delightful and worth snuggling. It’s a high-five that you are representing yourself well and that feels GOOD. We all need more of that feeling. These compliments are like little gifts of magic. To be complimented on our positive qualities is a HUGE mood enhancer and soothes the soul.
How is sexy characterized? How do you know that you have it? Being sexy is more associated with the interaction than a pleasing aesthetic. Sexy is defined as causing feelings of sexual excitement, creating dynamic and warm interactions. Sure, physical beauty is a key component in organic sex appeal, but dynamic attractiveness involves the expression of our emotions and our underlying personalityâwhich makes up your secret arsenal aka your personal charisma. It is what I call The Unicorn Affect: expressing a consistent positive vibeâsmiling, having an upbeat attitude, having expressive eyes, all which are associated with sex appeal.
Now that we’ve discussed why it’s important to our souls to feel sexy, here are a few qualities and traits that make men and women pretty damn sexy. đ„đ„đ„
1. A High Self-Esteem: You know your beauty and value without being conceited or arrogant. Being assertive is sexy. Wishy-washy not so much. đ
2. Have Some Self-Love: A person who loves themselves is super sexy. You take care of your body, eat right, wear nice perfumes/colognes, work out for yourselves. Stay relevant with grooming. Invest in yourself, it’s always money well spent.
3. Have a Playful Nature: If you have have that suggestive laughter, undressing eyes, wild stare, teasing tendencies, you have the winning formula. Sexiness does not come out when you’re negative, tense or uptight.
4. Use Your Brain: A smart individual is super sexy. If you open up your mouth and intelligence flows out, you are an instant wonder. Being able to hold a challenging conversation is a defining factor in real sex appeal.
5. Make People Laugh: Having a razor sharp wit cannot be learned, but it is greatly appreciated. Not taking yourself or the world around you too seriously is a key component in being sexy. Plus, everyone loves a person who can laugh at themselves. Funny is always in vogue. đ
6. Eye Contact đ WINNING: Look everyone youâre interacting with straight in the eye wonât only boost your own confidence, but itâll get people to see you as confident and in control, which usually translates to sexy. #BOSSbitch#BOSSbro đ»
7. Have a Good Character: This is a no brainer, don’t be a Dick or a Bitch. ‘Nuff Said. Basic kindness and respect = HOT.
8. Dress with Panache: A person decently dressed not only evokes a sexy vibe but commands respect. You should dress in a way that excites visually. By all means, play up your best features. Guys so ditch the fish t-shirts and sneaks, and Girls, showing tons of skin does not always translate to sexy. Bootie shorts, skin-tight clothes, insanely low-cut tops all can make you look less sexy, or like youâre trying too hard. Love your body and want to show it off? Fab! But do it ways that are truly sexy, as opposed to Trash and Flash. Heels are ALWAYS a good start. Not only do they give you an empowering boost, but the right heels can make your clothes hang better, andâthey have a leg-lengthening effect. Guys, put some thought into this please. Note to self, a well-dressed man is soft- core porn for us, so use all of your advantages. This being said, don’t be obsessed with your appearance, overt vanity is a downer. đ
9. Put Your Phone Away!! Thereâs nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person whoâs constantly staring at their phones. Being present is sexy. Being preoccupied is not. #DEALbreaker
10. Have the Right Convo: Do not give the Resume Shakedown. Don’t start grilling someone on politics, religion, their exes, or how much coin they pull in; youâre going to come off as nosy and abrasive, rather than sexy and seductive. This advice goes for dates as well. Ask the questions to ensure a flowing, enjoyable conversation. You get EXTRA points for no one word answers and seeming genuinely interested. Trust me, I don’t look like a supermodel, but I have found that people are most turned on by stimulating conversation, eye contact, and personality.
11. Use Touch: I personally use this a lot in my interactions, it’s a killer way to get a person’s attention in a sexy way. Touch them very subtly on the arm or the back when youâre saying hello or goodbye, when you agree with something theyâve said, or if theyâve said something funny. Instant warmth and connection. Use their name frequently, it’s a natural aphrodisiac. People subconsciously love to hear their own names. This combo will make you an absolute powerhouse. But don’t get all carried away here and grope out. #EWWW
Bottomline: Sexiness is about knowing yourself and owning that person. A sexy man or woman carries with them an unexpected quality that is full of light and positive energy. They are magnetic and passionate yet unaware of their appeal. Chances are they are an attractive individual, but their stand-out qualities are their personality and aura. You will instantly know who they are, for just being around them lights you up on the inside. âĄ
Stay EXTRA!!!
