Listen – I’m a girl who has always been one of the guys, but also very much a girl; not really blending perfectly into either side. I’ve always run with the boys. I’m a guy’s girl. I’m kind like a guy with boobs, but not in the Caitlyn Jenner sense. There are a bunch of perks to this and plenty of detriments to this life. I’ve been called a lot of labels: a tease, a homewrecker, the cool girl and a misfit. Other women assume I have ulterior motives. They can simply hate on me for being the one guy’s fall in love with or the one who has an enviable ease with men. I refuse to be confined by these labels, because being one of the guys is A LOT of fun. I whole heartedly just love being in the company of men.
So that being said, we are back to that age old question, can girls and guys be just friends??? There is no secret in my house that When Harry Met Sally is my super fave movie of all time. It’ witty, it’s heartbreaking and turns out it’s right on the money when it comes to analyzing friendships between men and women. Remember when Harry says to Sally:
” No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.”
This beloved hit movie got us all wondering, if this was truly possible. If a guy, is even remotely attracted to you, YES it will be a problem, at first. Studies show that men are more likely to be attracted to their female friends and want to go on a date with them than the other way around. They also assume their female friends were more romantically interested in them than they actually were. Your male buddy will eventually make a pass at you and you will have to ever so gently douse those potential sparks and place him into the “Friend Zone”. You may have to smack him down a few more times until he truly get the message. These mating instincts, which have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years, nearly always get in the way of a truly platonic relationship. As we know, no guy initiates a relationship with a girl to just be friends. It is never the initial goal, however they will eventually accept their non sexual status in your life.
Every girl with guy friends realizes how important they are in her life, and here are my 15 reasons why I wouldn’t trade my guy friends for anything:
1. ZERO DRAMA: It’s just a fact, there is no drama with dudes. Guys really don’t care about much, and if they do, they move on quick. They don’t hold grudges or overthink things. There are no stupid arguments that end friendships (unless of course, they let the woman in their life pull a Yoko Ono 😫). Guy friends help you stay grounded, and take no part in everyday girl drama. Guy friends also never talk behind your back, bitch or gossip. No mind games. The only drama you will have to worry about is who is going to order the pizza.
2. YOU CAN LET OUT YOUR CRASS BEHAVIOR: When I am surrounded by my bevy of bros, I almost have another language entirely. I make more sound effects. We have disgusting joke banter and laugh at gross Snapchats. You will watch marathons of Family Guy and South Park. Fuck will be your favorite adjective, verb and noun. Nothing remotely ladylike goes down in this circle. There is plenty of playful verbal harassment and sarcasm. You develop a proud thick skin.
3. THEY WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT THEY THINK: Since he is not your boyfriend, he needs no filter. Sincerity is a given. He will not lie to you if you ask him if your dress makes you look fat. He will respond with, “Yeah that’s a Hide-A-Butt dress, take that shit off now, you look like a jelly doughnut.” So be prepared.
4. PLANS ARE LAST MINUTE AND THE MOST FUN: Guys DO NOT plan shit out. There are no painful details. He will text you on a Friday night at 7pm and be like: “Yo, burgers and Tequila in 30?” You will respond: “Hey def.” He will respond: “Word.” And that’s it, then you will proceed to whoop it up all impromptu for one of the easiest fun nights you’ve ever had playing Beer Darts.
5. THEY WILL UP YOUR DRINKING GAME: If you are not good at drinking, they will teach you. They will train you and test you like the Yoda Social Chair they were at Sigma Chi. They throw back Jagerbombs like holy water. No more frou -frou Lemon Drops on their watch. Buckle Up Sister, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
6. THEY ARE THE ULTIMATE WINGMAN: There is no easier way to meet men than through your bros. They will act as purrfect conduits for the intros to all the other guys in the room. He will befriend your prospect, then it’s up to you to woo him. Make sure to stand a few feet apart however, to give off the illusion that the two of you are just good friends, not your BF. If anyone doesn’t believe you, say he is your “real” brother, this has about a 95% success rate. On the other hand, if your prospect is turning out to be more of a dud than a stud, you can go up to your bro and put your arms around his waist and BAM, this instantly gives off the impression that you really do in fact have a BF. #Flipflopper
7. THEY ARE YOUR CHOSEN BIG BROTHERS: Since you are just friends, your friendship isn’t complicated with sex and fights. They like you for you and want others to as well. If anyone should treat you badly, they will have to answer to your dude posse. They will have your back and will not turn on you, voila your own Secret Service. Nobody messes with their Lil Sis. They actually like you for your personality. #EXTRAshocker
8. THEY ARE YOUR TRANSLATORS: Not proficient in guy speak? Well, they will help you decipher a cryptic text or understand what he really meant in an argument. They will offer you an insider’s perspective on how male’s think and act. That’s priceless VIP access.
9. YOU’VE GOT BACK UP DATES AND MOVERS: If you need a date to anything, you’ve got a couple back ups ready to go. Moving? You got that covered.
10. THEY WILL EAT YOU UNDER THE TABLE: Wanna snarf down 4 tacos? Doesn’t matter, they’ve already eaten 10.
11. CAT FIGHTS ARE REAL: I do love my girlfriends but female friendships are a lot more complicated and draining to say the least. Guys don’t get competitive with you or complain about not getting your attention. There’s no jealousies or hurt feelings. Females can be so Junior High. Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
12. THEY ARE ALWAYS UP FOR STUPID ADVENTURES: Wanna red-eye it to Vegas last minute? Suuuuure!!! Wanna try every type of Doritos in one night? Suuuuure!!! Wanna head to a strip club? FUCK yeah!!!
13. YOU CAN BE YOURSELF: There’s no need to impress him with a feigned interest in the music you hate. Since he already knows you’re not going to bang each other, you can show up with hairy legs in your nasty sweats with greasy hair. If you belt out a booty bomb, he will probably laugh hysterically.
14. THEY LISTEN: No matter how much your boyfriend adores you, there are certain times when his focus will fall back on how nice your rack looks in that shirt or whether or not you guys will have sex tonight. As I mentioned earlier, your male bud is not interested in your rack (or not anymore). He’s also probably well aware you guys have a 0 percent chance of having sex tonight. This gives him no choice but to listen to what you have to say.
15. THEY WILL NEVER BREAK UP WITH YOU: Unlike a boyfriend, who could potentially end things at any given moment, your male best bro does not have the luxury of calling it quits as soon as the going gets tough. There are no serious deal breakers, requirements or hoops to jump through. He does not need to upgrade or replace you. It is wonderfully UNCOMPLICATED. #friendsforlife
It’s as simple as that. Having a guy BFF means having someone to laugh your ass off with and someone to cry with at the same time, knowing that you will always have each other’s back no matter what. Having a guy friend means having the time of your life and enjoying every single second of it. These relationships have truly shaped my identity, and are a constant source of comfort for me. They will remain long after the non-platonic ones come and go, which to me, makes them the most special ones that exist.
This post is dedicated to my first guy best friend and one of my very best friends to this day, Nick. Love you forever. 😍🥰😘
Stay EXTRA!!!