In Love with Father Ralph de Bricassart
When I was in the 9th grade, a TV mini-series was released called, “The Thorn Birds” starring Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward. It was a story about a Catholic priest and his love between Meggie Cleary and his “God”. Richard Chamberlain portrayed a handsome, romantic leading man and I was in love. He was a dashing, gorgeous, and sexy creature. I was obsessed with him. I watched the mini-series nightly with baited breath. When it was over I cried like a baby. What would I do without looking at Richard Chamberlain every night? 😪
Whenever he was featured in People Magazine or Us Weekly I would tear the pages out and tape up his pictures inside the walls of my closet. I followed him closely over the years, always watched his latest projects and kept my crush on a slow burn.
Flash forward 10 years. I was living and working in Boston at the time with my sister, Snow. My Dad had come to visit and we went to a cozy dinner on Newbury Street then he suggested a movie. The cinema was packed, so I had to head into a row smack in the middle right next to some guy in a raincoat and hat. I sat down and prayed this dude wouldn’t try to overtake our joint armrest or start coughing. While he was removing his hat he completely jammed into my right shoulder like a huge clutz. I looked over to get a glance of his face and I let out a major gasp and the heavens parted:
I was looking right into the eyes of my beloved, Ralph de Bricassart. When he dreamily said, “Why excuse me dear”, I melted like a puddle right into my cheap movie theater chair. I meekly answered, “Oh no problem”. I slowly turned around to Snow and said, “OMG, I am sitting next to Richard Chamberlain!! Look, slowly so he doesn’t see.” I didn’t even watch that movie; I just listened to him breathe and I looked at him from the corner of my eyes til I had a massive headache. But it was worth it. I couldn’t fathom the courage to say hello and tell him what he had meant to me. I was sure he had his share of Starfuckers. When the movie was over, I watched him walk away into the shadows of the night.💔
Sistine Chapel Surprise
In the Summer of 1990, I traveled over to Europe with my college boyfriend. On one hot June afternoon in ancient Rome, he and I headed over to tour the majestic Sistine Chapel. It was as crowded in the chapel as it could possibly be. I was basically staring at the glorious ceiling bumping into other people right and left. I could hear a voice behind me that sounded oddly familiar. I instinctively turned around to try to solve this voice memory mystery, and if I wasn’t looking directly into my cousin Amy’s face. Right next to her was her brother Marty and her father, my Uncle Marty. 😲
Neither of us even knew we are traveling in Europe at the same time much less the same country, much less the same city, much less this chosen tourist spot AT the same exact time. Coincidence or Fate?!? You decide.⚡
Missed Connection
In the Summer of 2008, I was newly single and headed to NYC to meet a group of friends down at Pastis. I was definitely aspiring to live the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle. I was on the 5 train heading down from GCT and I couldn’t help but notice a super cool looking guy through the crowd, sharply dressed in a bright yellow t-shirt and cargo pants. I caught his eye a few times, attempting to be coy. I was hesitant to make a bolder move. The subway doors opened, he got out and as he walked down the platform, he turned back at me and waved. My heart sunk that I would never be able to find him again. Missed OPP! 😞
When I told my friends about our little encounter, they told me to check under the Missed Connections section on Craig’s List. I didn’t even know that existed!! I immediately began looking for a potential post. Two days later, to my astonishment I found:
I didn’t meet you on the 5 train on Sat night. Saw you on the train, you were wearing a pink dress, i think i’m in love, pls txt.
Holy Shit!!! I was wearing a pink dress that night. It had to be me. It had to be him. Literally 10 seconds later I texted:
Hi, Pink Dress Girl Found. If you were wearing the Bright Yellow t-shirt, I think I’m in love too.💘
It was like finding the needle in the haystack. It was him in all of his glory. His name was Oliver, he was my charming “Mr. Big” from Australia. We had a few great dates all around NYC until his vacation was over. We still wish each other a Merry Christmas every year, 12 years later. Who says Carrie Bradshaw only exists in a fictional world? #SATCforever
Model Vacation
In 1995, my boyfriend at the time and I had planned a week long romantic vacation at Harbour Island in the Bahamas. We were looking forward to some quality sexy time together. We had to take a small plane from Miami to Harbour Island. My boyfriend and I took our seats then much to my chagrin the other passengers boarded this 12 person plane. These were the passengers:
Yup, 10 Victoria’s Secret models sat in all the seats around us. Each one was more beautiful than the next. Elle McPherson sat across the aisle from me and she could barely fit her long, Palomino legs in her seat area. I glanced over at my boyfriend and he was in some type of fantasy trance. I had to roll his tongue back into his mouth.
To make things worse, they were staying at our hotel. Their swimsuit photo shoot was taking place everywhere around me. When I went to get coffee, Heidi Klum. When I went to have breakfast Karen Mulder. When I went for a run Elle McPherson. When I went to get suntan lotion Frederique van der Wal. When I walked to town Daniela Pestova. The worst part, by far, was watching them frolic around topless on the beach. My boyfriend was totally checked out. He actually went up to them and asked for a photo op. Cringeworthy. So much for sexy time. I felt more like a goblin from Gringots Vault:
Hands down one of my worst vacations in my lifetime. They were even on our plane back to Miami….UGH!!!
Daddy’s Home
Back in 1995, I had a job interview for a recruiting coordinator at Goldman Sachs at their Wall Street location. I was received and welcomed into their large conference room adorned with multiple pictures of numerous former deals in the world of The Masters of the Universe. I had an excellent interview with the Recruiting Director and he told me he had one final question for me:
So, Trish, one final question, it’s standard procedure. Is there any member of your family that is employed in any of the other big firms here in Manhattan?
I paused for a moment. I rolled my chair back a bit and I said to to my interviewer:
Well, do you see that man in that picture right there (I pointed to the right), and then that picture over here (I pointed to the left) oh and that one by the door….that’s my Dad. He’s an MD in Corporate Finance over at Kidder. He’s a major player in the World Bank and on the board of Hydro-Quebec, he’s had 30 years on the street.
Let’s just say I didn’t get the job. But how many daughters get to have that prideful moment??? BOOM!! 💥
GOLD MINE
I was 40 and fresh out of my marriage. I was in NYC and heading back to GCT after a night with friends. I wasn’t ready to go home and hit one more rooftop lounge solo before heading home. I was let right in at this super cool club on 48th and 8th. I found myself being invited over to a corner that was not well lit. I started up a convo with a few of the guys and one of them was from my southern CT area, right next door to my hometown. Let’s call him Gold. He seemed nice enough and had on a news boy cap and a very roomy long, duster coat. As I said, the lighting was dim and I couldn’t really see his face. I wasn’t sure that I found him attractive. But we had a nice exchange, and he asked me if we could get together back in our home state. I said sure and he took my number and I caught the train home.
So Gold called me and asked me to have dinner with him and I said I had plans. He called me again and asked me out to dinner in nearby Stamford. I thought you know I should go, he’s been cute enough to call twice now. It would be a quick hello, nice meet up and a new friend. I agreed to have dinner and I was hoping I would recognize him when I showed up at the restaurant. I was a bit nervous showing up, because I wasn’t sure what I had gotten myself in for. I walked in to the little Thai restaurant and this stunning man waved me over to this table.
I looked behind me to see if there was someone else that he could possibly be calling over. I turned back to him and I mouthed, “Me?” And he said, “Yeah You”. Cue Sixteen Candles in real life. It was like a Victor’s Whisper model was sitting at my table (male equivalent of Victoria’s Secret if you didn’t catch on).
We had the best dinner. He was even sweeter than he looked. We had an amazing time togeher, I thought he was an incredible human being. I’m so glad I said yes to the second date. He later became a very famous NYC real estate agent. Maybe you have seen the show?!? 🥇
Senator Octopus 🐙
I was a 24 year old ingenue living in a New England city, my close friend Candy finagled me into her private, bougie club. Lockober was the place to be seen. It was where the Boston Elite came to let their hair down and party to the early hours. We could see our newly divorced Senator off in the corner by the bar, holding court, with at least 10 beautiful women, begging for his attention. On our way to the bar, somehow we got mixed into his harem. We mingled for a while, listened to what the Senator had to say and got ready to call it a night. As we were leaving, we heard the Senator and his lawyer say:
You two ladies are the winners! Let’s get a bottle of Dom to celebrate and it would be our pleasure to give you a ride home.
So obviously he was stating that we had “won” their company. Even though we weren’t voluntarily in the running, we accepted the glasses of Dom. I mean hell we were young, fabulous and broke. And it was already 1am and we didn’t feel like schlepping on the T home, so a car ride home sounded fab.
After we finished our bubbly, they escorted us to the Senator’s very fine BMW. He had to clear off a ton of files that were all labeled “Top Secret” and I think he had to move what looked like a fax machine. It had so many bells and whistles, and everything spoke to us from inside the car I half way believed we were headed for Wayne Manor. As soon as our car doors shut, the expected began. Candy and I were getting the “Octopus Attack”.🐙 I’m sure that’s pretty easy to figure out what that is. It’s when you are getting the unwanted jump. I was swatting the Senator’s hand away like a mad fly. I dreaded every red light because he would attempt to give me a tonsillectomy. I would turn my head and he would wind up licking my face. 🤢 Candy was doing her best to keep the Senator’s lawyer off of her especially because he looked “The Penguin”. This Washingtonian evening was turning into a shit show episode from Batman.
The Senator pulled up to our apartment, hopped out of his car to open the door for me. I was dreading the goodbye. Just as I thought, he made one final attempt at basically reproducing the WhiteSnake video of Here I Go Again on the hood of his car. To make things even more entertaining, as he sat me on the hood, I looked up into our apartment window to see my sister Snow, her boyfriend and Thelma watching my Senatorial video. As I regrouped to say good night, the Senator offered me a mini pencil and a piece of paper that actually looked more like an ancient scroll. It unraveled before my eyes and I could see about 50 names of girls who had been in the Whitesnake video before me. EXTRA charming. So I took the pencil and wrote in “Melanie Miller”, the same fake name my Mom always used. Not so many years later, this same Senator made a run for the Presidency. Such a shame he didn’t win, his secret service name could have been OCTOPUS.🐙
The Fleet Is In
I was cursed with mammary gland overdrive syndrome. Meaning: BIG BOOBS. Ok, so let’s start by saying that this story is NOT meant to be sexually titillating. Ha, no pun intended.😝We are not just talking big boobs here, but more like rotating planets.
I was a reluctant porn star. I was 19, slim and had triple E size boobs. This meant that my boobs came around the corner before I did. If it was at all hot out, I would get boob sweat. I had to wear two sports bras if I exercised. It was impossible to find clothes to wear. No joke, at the beach, if I wanted to go swimming, my Mom would walk me down with a towel then drop it when I dove in so I wasn’t ogled on my way into the water. I was a freak of nature and I hated it. I begged my parents for reduction surgery. My Mom was on board 100% she could relate to the situation. My Dad? Not so much. He was male and old school and surgery was out of the question. 🍑🍑
A few months later, we were on a vacation in the Bahamas. We were staying on our boat in a marina and had access to a Hilton hotel down near where the Cruise liners docked. On one of those tropical sunny days, I was lying poolside with my family. I was wearing a triangle bikini which of course I was spilling out of because I could never find a top that fit correctly. I NEVER left my chair however, because again, I didn’t want to become a public spectacle. However, the spectacle soon came to me. The next thing we know, we see a navy ship pull up to the massive dock.
My lounge chair just happened to be by the entrance to the pool from this back dock location. 400 navy sailors had to pass by me to get to their hotel entrance. 400 of these navy sailors stared me down as they passed thru. My Dad witnessed 400 men shamelessly staring at his baby girl like I was a tantalizing piece of steak. I mean, he could have passed out individual drool rags. I looked at him and was like see, I told ya so!! My Dad turned to me and said:
We will book that operation as soon as we get back home.
And that was the end of that. 😊
Hurricane Andrew
August 1992. I was with my Dad, Snow, PC, Ariel and Belle (please see my blog post on Meet My Disney Family to understand my siblings names) sailing in the southeastern Islands in the Bahamas on our family boat. Now remember, this is 1992, there were no cell phones and we had no boat tv. On August 22nd, my Dad received a hurricane warning that was sent out on the boat radio for any vessels near the Exumas where we were anchored. We were alerted pretty much the same way as the Andrea Gail was on the Perfect Storm.😬 Very rudimentary equipment there. Hurricane Andrew had amassed to a category 4 barreling up the northwestern islands in the Bahamas. The eye would descend over Eleuthra. My Dad knew we had to prepare for Andrew’s rain bands which would bring higher winds, heavy rain and storm surge. At this time, the Exumas were undeveloped and there were no structures for shelter. We immediately started to batten down the hatches and went over vital emergency procedures. We didn’t know what to expect, to say we were frightened beyond belief would be a gross UNDERSTATEMENT. #EXTRA freaked. The dark skies eventually rolled in as did the tumultuous seas. Wearing our life vests we gathered together in the common area with baited breath. I don’t think I have ever seen my Dad more tense in his entire life. We woke up to a stellar sunny skies morning, with choppier waves. Andrew had left the Bahamas on the 24th and was moving westward toward southeast Florida.
On the 25th, Snow and I were schedule to fly on a seaplane from my our boat into the Nassau airport then catch a plane straight home to Boston from there. My Dad had gone through his cash and gave us what he had left which was about $25. We said goodbye to our fam and headed back to Nassau. Btw, I totally, felt like I was flying into Fantasy Island riding in that seaplane. 😆
When we entered the Nassau airport, there was chaos everywhere. All flights were delayed. I grabbed a copy of the NYT from the floor to read the headline. We had no idea that Andrew had destroyed southern Florida. Our jaws dropped at the pictures of the destruction. Amy and I quickly found out that we needed $30 for exit fees out of the Bahamas and we had $25 and no access to cash or credit cards. We had to borrow $5 from a nice couple just to leave the country. We stayed all day in that airport with no money for food. We boarded the 9pm flight to Boston, arriving at midnight. We had no money for a taxi so it took us one hour to get home by subway. It wasn’t til around 1 am that we were able to call my Mom to tell her we were alive. She thought she had lost her five children to Andrew. She had no idea where we were in the Bahamas, and we had no way of calling her. After Snow and I left, my family still back on the boat were terrified by nightly lightening storms that lasted an entire week. We talk about how lucky we were to survive this every Thanksgiving. #EXTRAblessed
Camelot Beer
Growing up, I was fortunate enough to spend my summers on Martha’s Vineyard. My parents fell in love with the island in 1981 and bought a beautiful Captains house smack in the middle of Edgartown. My Dad also kept our sailboat in dreamy Edgartown Harbor.
One heavenly summer day in July, my brother and I were riding around in my Dad’s zodiac in the harbor. We could see a guy waving us over to his sailboat. PC and I drove over. There were 5 super good looking younger guys on this super stealth sailboat, they all had sunglasses on. One of them said to us:
Hey, we are sooo tired of waiting for the Harbor taxi, would you mind giving us a ride to town and we’ll give you $20.💵
Before I could speak, my brother chimes in:
Yeah sure, no problem but we don’t want your money. We want your beer.🍻
Of course, my brother, Prince Charming wants BEER!! He was 15 to my 18 and there was no way we could procure alcohol ourselves. The guys on the boat start laughing and instantly agreed to the deal. I could not help but notice, how really attractive each and everyone of these guys were. They seemed to be family of some sort and some had wicked bad Boston accents, as they say in Massachusetts. We had some small talk about living on Martha’s Vineyard and one of them said they lived in Gay Head on the island. I was trying so hard to place these guys. When we reached the dock the guys got out, when the super hot one handed my brother the beer he said:
If your Dad catches you with this beer later, tell him JFK Jr. gave it to you!
I knew it!! I knew they were famous!! My celeb radar was on point! It was JFK Jr and his cousins Bobby Shriver, Patrick Kennedy, William Kennedy Smith, and Chris Lawford. Jackie O had a huge estate up on Gay Head. This chance meeting made it that much harder to hear about his death in the summer of 1999. 😱
I hope you enjoyed my stories, leave me a message and let me know your favorite! Remember, the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little EXTRA!!
